Wishing I Was Him
by Sakura Bloom
Summary: Brock has to summon a lot of strength to look beyond his wants and do what he thinks is best for everyone.


"Wishing I Were Him"

**Wishing I Were Him**  
_by Laura Kamida_  
**Rated G**  
  


The soft, gentle rapping on his door. Unquestionable, undeniable. It was her. The whole routine would repeat itself over again, the one that left his heart cracked and vulnerable.  
  
He stood up, pulling a pair of pants up and buttoning them quickly, then walking to the door of his apartment. He flung open the door, and she was standing before him, soaking wet. She looked pitiful, with her long red hair matted down against her skin, and her clothes dripping with water, as well as her face. He couldn't tell for sure how much of the moisture on her face was rain, and how much was tears.  
  
"I ran all the way here," she said breathlessly. "I couldn't take it anymore..." Her eyes were reddened, and her shoulders were heaving up and down in sobs.  
  
"Come here," he whispered, and she collapsed into his embrace, her face pressed against his bare chest, and her breath blowing against his tanned skin, sending delightful shivers up his spine despite the seriousness of the situation. "What happened this time?"  
  
"Just another fight," she sobbed. "They just keep getting worse and worse all the time..." She was so close now that he could feel her lips gently rub his chest as she stammered: "I don't know how much longer it can last."  
  
Brock inhaled sharply, and pulled the redhead even closer, if it was possible. He knew now that he was in love with the fiery girl, and he knew that if he had the chance now, he would confess to her, tell her that if he had the chance, he would hold her forever and never let go, never take her for granted, never let her cry like the "love of her life" had so many times.  
  
But now, he knew that things would happen the same as they always had, and always would. It was too late for him. He had lost his chance. Because now, she was too involved with her own matters of the heart that she would never love him. Maybe there had even been a point where she had thought of him as possibly being more than a friend, but it was too late for that now.  
  
How he envied Ash Ketchum! What a fool, to let her hurt like this, to let her run to the arms of another man when he should have been holding her tight and telling her that he was eternally sorry.  
  
Through the course of the pair's rocky relationship, Misty had come to him with everything that she had been feeling about him... The good, and the bad. He had listened to her, felt her pain, and felt pain despite her happiness, his face and his smile belying everything that he was feeling inside. He had given her advice, consoled her, hugged her when things had gone wrong, and always sent her back to him where he knew she would be happy.  
  
If he wasn't the brunette boy's friend, he would take advantage of the situation. He would gently kiss her forehead, and gather the courage to tell her that he would love her forever. But since he knew the way that both of them felt for each other, he knew that he couldn't ruin that, and the friendship with Misty that he cherished so much.  
  
"What if it's over now?" she whispered. "I-I don't know if I could take it," she continued, and he could hear the shock creeping into her gentle voice.  
  
"Then Ash is losing the best thing that ever happened to him," Brock said truthfully and solemnly.  
  
Misty let out another sob. "Oh, Brock, you're so perfect... Why can't Ash be more like you?"  
  
Brock felt his breath catch in his chest. Oh, if only it were the other way around... If only he could be more like Ash...  
  
"No no no..." he murmured, stroking her hair gently. "You can't compare Ash and me... you just have to look at Ash. Do you love him?"  
  
"It doesn't matter," she moaned. "It doesn't matter how I feel about him... if it's over."  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
"Yes," she whispered. Brock's heart thumped once, just once, like a strong drumbeat.  
  
It was all the answer that he needed. He knew, just like every other time, he would release her, and she would go back to Ash, and he would make her cry again. Maybe, just maybe one of these times Misty would realize that he didn't deserve her, and that she needed someone that would love her as much as she needed to be loved. But until then...  
  
"You have to go back..." he finally said, as if sentencing him to a self-made prison for just a while longer. Misty would go back and tell Ash that she was sorry for things she had not done, and the cycle would repeat itself all over again.  
  
"Thank you," Misty said. "I'm so glad that I have you... It's a good thing we never got together, huh? I couldn't imagine how I would feel if I did this to you... and who would I run to?"  
  
Brock forced a chuckle, breaking from her chilling embrace and opening the apartment door. "Yeah... that would be terrible..." he said, barely forcing the words from his mouth.  
  
_Liar..._  
  
Misty walked out the door, taking one look back, showing him a soft, heart-breaking smile. She had renewed hope that she could make things right with her love. Brock sighed in relief, as he always did. If nothing else, she was happy again. That was enough to make him right again... Until the next time.  
  
Because no matter how many problems the two of them had, there was an undeniable love there, he could see the passion she held for Ash Ketchum in her eyes when she smiled, and even when she cried. He knew that she loved him.  
  
_Oh.... Ash Ketchum... why can't I be you?_  
  



End file.
